Carpe Diem
by XLoveXFallsXToXAshesX
Summary: "I can't seem to stop." A sigh was heard, "I know what you mean, but Sakura, eventually even you will have to move on. As long as you still have something to do with the dead, the dead will still have something to do with you."
1. Prolouge

_Preface_

_A war leaves destruction in it's path. It doesn't show mercy, nor discrimination. Haruno Sakura learned this, and now lives with it every day. She lives her best friend's dream, her other best friend's deepest desire and faces her demons alone. There is a temporary peace that many perished shinobi dreamed and attempted for so long. The world is at a stand-still. And, soon, the ghosts of Sakura's past start projecting into reality, and Sakura receives the company of the last person she'd ever expect to see. _


	2. A Temporary Peace

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. Probably a good reason I didn't, too. :)

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Chapter 1: The Temporary Peace 

_Carpe Diem: to live in the present; used as an invocation to live in the present and not worry about the future, or past. _

The skies held a gloominess that were unexpected this time of year, though not entirely unwelcome on this particular day. Not one ray of brightness peaked through the skies on this autumn morning, as this village normally held. There was even a gust of wind that would make it slightly chilly for shinobi. It was only fitting, though. On this day, Haruno Sakura was at ease knowing that even the heaven wept, because she could not. How could she after all?

As the leader of the Leaf Village, showing emotion would prove that Sakura didn't have the mentality to protect the general welfare of the people - or lack there of - in this village. Her subconscious told her that she never asked for this; she never wanted to be the one to have her best friend's dream. However, as of now, it was irrelevant. There was no choice, and no legitimate reason for her to pursue another outlook. Moreover, if Naruto were able to communicate with her, somehow, she knows they'd want _her _to be the leader that protected this village. The one who had the most experience and was close enough to Uzumaki Naruto to have the same ideals.

For Sakura, she felt no matter how many years passed, that nothing was changing for her. It had been three years, and the survivors had long since forgotten. No, that was inaccurate; they wouldn't allow it to fester in their minds as the only survivor of the infamous trio, Team 7, did. Why should they? Three years was a long time, and holding onto things like that only slowed you down. In the shinobi world, death was a natural occurrence. Even with the peace that reigned now, survival was never guaranteed. Moreover, Sakura didn't take life with so little meaning, as she once had.

In the three years that passed, Sakura had changed. More than over the span of two years where her best friends were training with legendary Sannin, more than when she killed an Akatsuki member, more than when her village was attacked by the 'leader' of Akatsuki. Within three years, she had lost all appreciation for anything she once thought was important. She had given up on hopes of a happy ending. She had given up dreams that she would find love in the form of the youngest Uchiha. She had given up everything that had ever once made her, leaving her an empty shell of what she once was.

_And it all started with a war… _

"Hokage-sama," a voice called, silencing Sakura's thoughts. It was Hyuuga Neji, tagged along with Nara Shikamaru. The _only _ones left of the Rookie 9 aside from herself. Instead of commenting, she continued to watch the skies darken, but inclined her head.

"The meeting is about to commence," Shikamaru began eying her warily. Sakura nodded, straightening. She walked past them, hat in hand. She stopped at the stairs for a moment.

"Today…" she began.

The two remained silenced. She shook her head. As she descended the stairs, she heard the two sigh, before an agreed, "yeah" could be heard. The two understood her proclamation. Today was the anniversary of their comrades' deaths. It meant that at the end of this day, Sakura would drown her sorrows with sake as she stood at the memorial stone, alone. It was not an invitation; it was a warning. _Tonight, leave me to myself. _

She supposed it was fair in her mind. In exchange for her constant façade, this one time of year on this night, Sakura would visit everyone who had died and indulge herself in her shishou's habit. As for this morning, she had a meeting with the other Kages. They met much in the same way the Akatsuki had, as a means of convenience and saved effort. It took place once a month at a selected location, normally the Kage's tower to hold political discussions.

They had recently discovered upon reports that nothing was amiss. The peace they have come upon seemed perfect, in simple terms. The lifestyle nobody thought would happen; they were living it now. Sakura felt some relief in this because it meant that at least her friends, everyone died with dignity and reprieve of knowing the biggest threat to this world was gone. It was part of the only reason she handled herself so well, though there were some odd occasions when a training ground would be demolished. Generally, the same one, the one Team 7 always used. It, as well as Ichiraku's, was a dwelling place. One among many. Sakura felt all of Konoha was her dwelling place, and she could never leave, so it was a permanent hell.

Sakura opened the meeting door, and there the holograms of the other Kages stood, staring at her. Gaara seemed to be the only one with mirrored grief, but then again, he lost his friends too.

"Sakura-hime," the Tsugikage spoke, using the nickname he once gave Tsunade.

Sakura bowed her head, making a noncommittal sound. The Mizukage, also a female, was fond of Sakura and gave her a sincere smile. As they were both powerful women in the world of shinobi, and ruling two of the greatest villages in history, they had formed a sort of bond - though it would be a stretch to say they were as close as Ino had been to Sakura. In return, Sakura gave her a look that told her everything, and the smile remained as a comforting gesture. The other Kage's stood restless, not one making a sound. Many of the Kage's had changed throughout the years, due to the war. It had made them weary, more serious. Even the loud, boisterous Raikage had become more reserved after the loss of so many that were dear to him.

"In our region, there have been no signs of mishap. Minor casualties and rouge shinobi are in the vicinity, but our sources have reported most have been either apprehended or silenced," Sakura said without pause.

"That's…unusual," the Raikage spoke in an unusually softer tone.

"Why so?" the Mizukage questioned, "Is this not what we wanted? Peace. Uchiha Madara is dead; the Akatsuki have fallen and none have dared searching for the bijuu in as fear of the act of treason."

"While that's true, it just seems too quiet. It's been three years since the Fourth Ninja War ended. Surely, by now we should have expected something," the Raikage commented in a tone of suspicion.

"Are you insinuating something?" the Tsugikage questioned, "Was it not you that agreed to this peace, you who brought it up?"

"It is a mere skepticism. We are shinobi! Things don't just quiet down so easily. I'm wary about the entire situation."

"With all due respect, Raikage-sama, even if this were the case, such threats would be easily taken care of, isn't that right Hokage-sama?" Gaara pointed out calm as ever.

Sakura nodded, "We should not fear that war, for those anxieties might turn us against each other. However, the notion of something being stirred up is highly unsettling, and the after-effects of the last war have not yet worn off," Sakura paused, swallowing hard, "but we cannot act like this temporary peace will last."

"Well said, Sakura-hime."

Ignoring the compliment, she focused her concern upon the Raikage, "Was there a matter that caused this concern to arise?"

"Actually, there is. We have all agreed upon dividing up the bijuus into various areas, and have a way of monitoring them." Silent agreement. "Well, the one under my control…It seems to have been tampered with."

Gaara spoke first, no hesitation, "If this is true Raikage, then not only do we need to find out who did this, but why, as well as finding a new location. If this dilemma persists, we may have to change the way we've been doing things. For the time being, we should concentrate on doubling the security of our own individual assignments, as well as, finding out who this intruder is."

"The Leaf are more than willing to send out the best squad to aid in the search," Sakura added before biting her lip, "if push comes to shove, we may have to have a Kage Summit, if the problem gets too much. We cannot afford another war. Many of us have just started to get on our feet again."

"The Leaf, especially," the Tsugikage replied, "the loss was tremendous and traumatizing."

There was a silence. Sakura didn't want to think about this so she inclined her head, "It was."

"But, at the moment, we need to focus on what to do," Sakura said in a new resolve, "this peace that our comrades worked so hard for will not be in vain. A war will not break out, I will make sure of it. If not for my country, for them."

"Agreed," Gaara replied.

"As for other matters," the Mizukage spoke up after a long silence, "the survivors from war; shall we keep them isolated in these same prisons for so long?"

Sakura shook her head, "While keeping them in the one prison is dangerous, the notion of relocating them seems much more risky than I am willing to gamble."

"Wouldn't it seem additionally precarious if we left _all _of those criminals in one cell together?"

Sakura sighed, "Morino Ibiki spoke of this same concern, and we are working on a compromise."

Raikage spoke, "We can't lag behind simply because things seem peaceful, as we already agreed. Perhaps, we should begin to focus on finding new ways to handle the prisoners."

"Perhaps," Gaara and Sakura agreed, "What did you have in mind?"

"Scatter them is my first thought," he said, "Perhaps, even intensify the torture, if need be."

"I don't know about that," Sakura began.

Tsugikage spoke suddenly with a fierce manner, "Years ago after the war ended, we decided that the Land of Fire and Wind would handle the prisoners; we decided Water and Lightning would deal with placement of the bijus, and that Earth would handle infiltration of building conflicts. Changing things now would be unwise."

"Leaf and Sand are too soft," Raikage grumbled, "they have never handled criminals properly."

Sakura glared and answered harshly, "This village is under _my _reign now. I promise, as part of my oath, all criminals will fall to the consequences, however inhumane they may be. That was the agreement and it is non-negotiable. Questioning further would be calling my loyalty into question." It was a subtle threat that nobody jumped on to.

"As Hokage-sama has stated, Raikage, we have been keeping track of the prisoners. While we may not believe in the same approach as the elder leaders, does not mean our ways should be question nor underestimated."

The Kages agreed silently. "Agreed, Kazekage-sama."

"Well, now that this is settled, we should get to work," Tsugikage amended. Nods traveled around before one by one, they disappeared, leaving Sakura and Gaara the only ones left.

"Haruno-san. Send Uzumaki Naruto my regards, and don't hesitate to contact Sand if there is ever a need."

"Hai," Sakura commented a little shaky. She was left alone in the office. Her eyes pricked, but tears did not fall from her eyes. She bit her lip, and walked out of the meeting room, and into her own office. She plopped into the chair swinging it around for a view of the village with a sigh.

Days like this always made her thoughtful, and full of grief. She regretted that she couldn't save her two best friends, that she was naïve until the end. She regretted that Kakashi gave his life to protect her, as always. She regretted that she couldn't protect her parents. She regretted that she never gave Naruto the time of day, and that all of her comrades died miserable and painful deaths. She also regretted that she couldn't save Sasuke's life in the end either. These were the things she hated most about herself.

She had made so many mistakes, with no sincere condolences, nor any who tried to fix her inner turmoil. Shikamaru was grieving over Ino and Chouji; he had just gotten past Asuma's death. Neji lost his entire family aside from Hanabi, whom he protected with his life on a daily basis. Sai even showed his regret for Naruto's death upon occasion. He had isolated himself of people on a social scale for half a year after the war. Kohnahamaru had become a very serious shinobi having lost his two friends from war. The Sand siblings had stayed in Konoha as long as possible to mourn for Naruto. Sakura gulped.

When he died, it was like the light that made this village had faded out. Even now, in this peace, there was a gloomy aura in the air that made the common civilian pause and just stare into that big horizon in respect. The Uchiha clan was a nightmare to the villages except for the two brothers, Itachi and Sasuke, who were thought of as heroes, the latter more than his comrades - or lack there of - could imagine. Sakura envisioned survivors from her past that she knew. Kurunei and her child flashed to mind, then another of a civilian child who had been Sakura's neighbor for most of her adolescence. Genma, Iruka, Ami, Sasuke's old team. Yamanaka Inoichi. Inuzuka Hana. Yamato. Teichu and his daughter, Ayame. It was not many to account for, but as she repeated these names over again in her head, she found a very small form of comfort in her chest.

She never faltered in her walk through the village. The memorial stone sat there, desolate. Worn out fingers ran against the cold stone. Sakura took a swig of the bottle, and stared with the most pathetic expression one could imagine the Hokage would wear. Sakura bit her lips to hold back tears, and to further her attempt, she began to speak after swallowing back the pain.

"Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi…everyone, I'm so sorry," Sakura cried falling to her knees and let her forehead rest against the marble, "I couldn't do anything more. I was useless again, and now Naruto, I'm here living your dream. Maybe it would have been better if you were here in my place. If only I had been faster, stronger, I might have been able to help…even just a little bit."

"Sasuke, I'm so sorry about everything. You were right; I couldn't understand what solitude was and I'm so sorry for the way I was back then. I got a taste of the medicine you'd been living on. I get it now. It's painful, and it won't go away. I think the worst part is I can't even avenge your death; everyone else saved me that by killing your murderer. I'm sorry I couldn't heal your wounds; that I could never be more to you.."

"Kakashi, thank you so much. For everything…you died…it should have been me," Sakura broke off into a fit of sobs, "I'm sorry you had to protect me again; that I could never take your lessons as serious as I should have. I only hope you, _everyone_, found some peace in the afterlife..if there is such a thing.."

Sakura let the tears flow, not caring how badly she was breaking the ninja rules. Shinobi Rule Number 25; under no circumstances are you to show emotion. Sakura never could bear that rule though she remembered it with hefty clarity. Humans were meant to show emotions. She was human before she was a shinobi. It stuck to her mind for years.

The night dragged on sluggishly, and Sakura felt herself falling deeper into the numbing effects of indulgence and darkness of plaintiveness.

Shikamaru stared at the shogi board with an absentmindedness. He had already analyzed every single move his teammates would have used, every single strategy that would play across their minds. He spent most nights doing such trivial things as these. He mourned, only in a more healthy way than his current Hokage. Neji and he had given her the message before reporting to their daily duties. Both, now ANBU, - more of force - had taken on many missions that left them with an empty feeling.

It was rather…byzantine to say the least. The war was a huge blow to the shinobi world. As he might describe to his mentor, the perfect moves in the game. Madara had known all the pieces to play, all the weakest links to hit, therefore weakening the stronger ones. When his cabal arrived in the village, the devastation was unfathomable. He had witnessed first hand, but because he dedicated himself to his own mission, many more suffered. However, not once did he regret it. Kurunei was his promise, and as much as it pained him to say it, he felt Ino and Chouji would know that, too.

He had allowed himself to stare endlessly into their names carved upon the memorial stone, and other times, allowed himself the indulgence of simply standing side by side his remaining two comrades, and lament over their teams. Neji had never once forgiven himself for allowing his uncle, and his cousin, Hinata, to die. When he had discovered Hanabi was alive and well, he had shown so much relief, he could have been crying. Now, Neji dedicated _his _life to making her strong, and protecting her. Sakura, in his opinion, was the only one not past the point they were currently at. She would fall apart at times, whether physically or mentally. He recalled on numerous occasions walking into her office to see her eyes hidden, but his scrutiny never missed the scent of alcohol, nor the redness as she turned her eyes. It also didn't aid anyone that she had no remaining relatives, or promises that were to be kept.

It had been quiet these past several years. He sometimes wondered if it was sometimes still the same village, but whenever he looked outside, he was granted with the sense of surrealism. Without Naruto, this village was not every going to be the same. And somehow, as he lit a cigarette, he just knew that he was not the only one thinking that very same thing.

Hyuuga Neji watched the stars with minimal interest as he sat on the patio in the Hyuuga Compound. For somebody only twenty years old, he felt weary as if he had seen all there was in the world. It tired him, in the bluntest way to put it, as he continued to protect his village in, what he felt, a temporary peace. His cousin, Hanabi, now the age of fourteen, - the age when he had embarked on a mission that started a domino effect - was a proud Chunnin, working her way up.

Neji never pushed her, as her father did, but rather allowed her to make choices. Hinata had never been given that opportunity, always referred to as the black sheep in the family. While Neji felt no remorse or sympathy towards her, he did have empathy for the situation she was in. He would not allow it to happen again. As Uzumaki had once told him, "I can change (my) destiny."

He would allow Hanabi that privilege. Inclining his head a fraction of an inch, he gestured for the current object of his thoughts to sit.

"Neji."

"Hanabi," he returned just as coolly.

"Have you been with Konohamaru recently?"

"Training," was her brusque reply.

"Aa."

"Was there a reason?"

He looked at her with a stoic expression, that displayed none of his true emotions, "No." _Yes. _She gave him a slightly bemused look, but nodded ahead anyway.

"There was a reason, however, that I came to find you," she said. He rose a brow.

"I wish to enter the Jounin exams."

Neji inwardly shuddered remembering the Uchiha prodigy, but outwardly sipped his tea, as he looked forward. His mind scattered the distinct possibilities. He remembered Tenten when she was but a mere two years older, wishing to do the same thing. She, also, had questioned him for his opinion. But she had died while participating, and therefore ensuing his wariness for the notion of it.

"Perhaps," he concurred. _Ask me no more, and I shant grant false hope. _

The morning dawned, detailing the start of a new day in the village of Konahagakure. If not for morbidity in her personality, Sakura would be rather pleased. Then again, she would have been more pleased if she had been heading to the Hokage office, as his subordinate rather than the King, herself. Therefore, all of those things pushed aside, and nursing a hangover to boot, she was not feeling up to the sunny morning.

Paperwork awaited her in her office, which was finished after several hours and a cup of coffee. Erasing all memories of last night was impossible, but her mind was eased at the knowledge of having something constructive to keep her occupied. As a matter of fact, she was also expected to put up the roster of candidates taking the Jounin exams. If she recalled correctly, Sakura was aware of a distant dinner night at Neji's where Hanabi mentioned it. Not that it was Sakura's intention to go against his wishes for his own protégé. Sakura would simply put her name on the 'to-be-considered' list.

After finishing the normal routine of paperwork, she was less than surprised to see Konohamaru standing before her in a Chunnin vest, and a somber expression. She picked up the metallic tang of blood, and scrunched her nose before inclining her head.

"Any difficulties?"

"None on my part, Hokage-sama."

"Report?"

"Finished m'aam. We had little trouble apprehending the convict. We had chased him out to Bear Country, where we located what he was up to. Apparently he was a mere thief attempting to bargain on a black market, big deal type products and such. After interrogating him, he was silenced and the cargo was halted before further process could take place."

"Very well. See to it to have your wound treated."

"Yes.." he hesitated then gave a look that said Naruto all over it.

"Ah, well, currently I have few missions that would keep you occupied, other than this one A-rank mission I had intended for Shikamaru when he turned up. It's a mere escort mission. However, perhaps, you two might like to exchange?" She rose a pink delicate brow.

"Understood. I will talk to Shikamaru-san about it." He said with a small smile.

"See to it," Sakura replied turning her nose into papers, that had oh, so coincidentally piled up as lunch time rolled around, as he turned to leave. Once the door shut, she leaned back with a deep sigh. She, at this time, would fancy a nice relaxing soak in a hot springs; to lock out the world at this time would be heaven. But, it was not like that, Sakura reminded herself once again.

Taking a walk to the Ninja Academy, Sakura let herself indulge in the feeling of nostalgia. They had rebuilt, and it had been so worth it. The pain, the remnants of war caused a pain that had yet to fade in the lives of many who still remembered and survived the war. For the children who were recently born, they would not ever know of the brutalities of war. For the academy students, they would never have to face that again. She would never create another Uchiha Itachi or Hatake Kakashi out of these children, like some of the council had in the past. If she could not monitor it all, then Sai would help. He knew exactly how she felt, and had agreed. He had started putting pieces of his humanity back together at an age he shouldn't have to. Hell, he shouldn't even _have _to be putting himself back together. And Sakura would be damned if she put the future of Konoha in a position like that. She would not allow another war to break out like it did before.

Wind blew Sakura's hair out of her face, as she looked at the Academy. Her eyes dimmed. She knew it was not the same. Memories slammed at her, from the very first entrance ceremony until now. It was like watching her life flash before her eyes. Every moment from the Academy was a treasure that she held within a box. It was her everything and her memories were what she deemed importance now. Her friend's dreams, they were in her hands now. Naruto's dream for peace; he would cry if he saw the world now. With Madara dead, and no known of threats, worried about world domination, there was a small amount of peace. Nagato, now deceased leader of Akatsuki, had been right. At the time, his proclamations - told to her by Naruto over ramen - had seemed illogical to her. She had never felt pain. So, it made sense of course.

If you knew no pain, felt no sacrifice, then of course to an outside who knew pain and suffering, you were selfish, and sheltered. War had brought on pain and grief, but this time, there was nothing left to root in the remains. No hatred would be born. Every village suffered the same amount, so no one could find it in their hearts to blame anyone. They had at first. It was chaos; but once regimented, they knew the truth. The perpetrators were dead, and any of the scapegoats had been killed as well. The shinobi villages had to start out as a clean slate. As it had been, no village could demand compensation or assistance. Things were in such disarray that for months that there had been an abeyance of shinobi missions, or even civilian activity. As the Raikage had mentioned, there had been a three year peace so far. It was causing tension. Tension led to paranoia. Gaara and Sakura were unnerved but, luckily every other village was trying to back them up. The last thing needed at the moment was a loss of trust.

"Hey," a masculine voice greeted from behind.

"Shikamaru," Sakura replied evenly, eyes still glued to the Academy. She couldn't bring her attention away from it. As if reading her thoughts, he replied with, "Reminiscing?" Sakura smirked inwardly. He really was a genius.

"I can't seem to stop." A sigh was heard, "I know what you mean, but Sakura, eventually even you will have to move on. As long as you still have something to do with the dead, the dead will still have something to do with you."

"If I gave them up, I felt like I'd be betraying them," Sakura voiced softly, "they had their lives taken away for no reason. The least I can do is keep them in my memories."

"We can't hold on to them forever. They're not part of this world anymore. And you know, if Naruto were here now, he'd scold you for being so 'depressed when there's so much more.' Besides, you aren't keeping them in your memories; you're letting them rule your life."

"You would know best, huh, Shikamaru?" Sakura commented in a dry tone.

He let out a breath before removing a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. The silenced dragged on as he took one out, and lit it. He took a long drag before speaking, "We're only human, Sakura. Doesn't mean we can't try to live past grief." _They are gone. Accept it. _Sakura heard the hidden warning, the hidden message. She knew, but she couldn't heed it.

"You've never commented on this before," she remarked.

"I never thought I'd have to." Sakura growled, "You don't." She let out an irritated sound turning her back from him, and the Academy. She suddenly felt like being alone.

"Sakura, I'm only bothering because you're my companion. Not as critique on your skills as my leader, not on your habits of dealing with grief as a your physician, nor on your wayward beliefs against the shinobi way as a shinobi myself." A hand was placed on her shoulder. A tremor ran through her body. She nearly choked with strain to keep herself from crying, but another hand was placed on her back, rubbing circles.

"Even you can't hold it in forever." _Cry. Revert to yourself for once. _

"Shikamaru," Sakura commented after several long moments of crying, "thank you."

"It's nothing."

She let out a breathless laugh, before wiping her face and turning to face him. "I suppose you also came here to ask acquiescence to leave for Suna." Shikamaru looked towards the clouds, "Perhaps. It's almost time, after all." Sakura gave him a soft smile, that didn't reach her eyes. How could she forget?

With a resolved nod, she waved him off, "Go, I'm sure she's waiting for you. Wouldn't want to miss your own daughter's birth, would you?"

Shikamaru let a small smile grace his features, despite the hesitance in his charcoal eyes, "No. My father would scold me for making a woman wait. Followed by a comment on how troublesome marriage is."

Sakura laugh with a more sincere emotion in it, "Don't think you have to hurry back."

He shook his head, "I will return when she is born."

"Any names?"

"Yoshino." _His mother's name, _Sakura marveled with sadness. She felt herself consumed with a feeling of hope. It was that feeling you got in your stomach when you were told that your crush liked you back, or something else that made you twinge with excitement, that was given no name for.

"Give Temari-san my regards?" Sakura asked.

A brief nod. "I will. I'll see you soon." He then vanished in a swirl of leafs.

Sakura watched the spot where he left with a minimum amount of interest. She was pondering over his words. Perhaps it was time to put the past behind her. It was the past, after all, that caused pain, and hatred. It was why people kept grudges, why people died. Sakura leaned against the tree. Yet, it was the past that held every single aspect of herself that she had forgotten about. It was the past that she longed for; the past was where everyone was alive. She missed it. She was disobeying a shinobi rule by holding on to such attachments, but she couldn't care less.

Shikamaru was right about one thing though. The dead was gone forever, and they weren't coming back. Every single loss from that war, each person who was made a victim; they were all no longer part of this world. Sakura sagged visibly, letting out a breath. No matter what she did, this pain would never withdraw. It was a curse, passed on through infecting every single generation one by one. Once caught, there was no escape. It was a slow decay. The cure, if there could be one, Sakura could never obtain. She was not Orochimaru, after all. It was tempting, but being able to see them without their humanity seemed much more artificial than Sakura was after. Deciding to see the need of hygiene, she left to her apartment within the Hokage Tower. It was quiet as usual. Every piece of furniture was untouched as if the place was vacant. The only way to tell there was life was Sakura's half-empty tea cup, more than likely cold by now. That, and the fact that despite Sakura's mechanical personality as of late, there was no grime.

She had held herself, crying until she fell asleep several hours before dawn. With a sigh, Sakura walked into the bathroom before stripping down, and proceeded to throw her clothes into the clothes basket. She turned the shower on the highest level of heat it could reach before stepping in with a muted groan. She let the water rush down her body, along with the scent of her shampoo. It was the only sense of relief she had felt these past several years. In any case, it was her mother whom had explained many of the luxuries women had. One would be bathing; the one form of complete respite for tension, had been one of her mother's definitions for it. Sakura missed her mother deeply. Her mother was one of the lucky ones to die before the climax of the war. Her father, on the other hand, Sakura thought with a deep sigh. He hadn't been as fortunate. She closed her eyes.

Sakura knew though, closing her eyes didn't make the pain go away. She knew so much more than she wanted to know; though ironically being the know-it-all of her team, it was no surprise. Fate was cruel. Like anything else in this world, it held no mercy. It was like a cancer; it didn't care if you were young or old, kind or malicious. It was no a identifiable thing, similar to war. Were you in it's path, it would take you down one by one like roaches. Sakura felt dead at the thought, so callous as it was, but it was the life of not just shinobi, but human beings. Survival of the fittest was nonsense. Examples of that were Sasuke and Naruto. With all their strength and vitality, even one of the strongest to hale from the Uzumaki and Uchiha clan, could not survive the atrocity of war. The final example was the one survivor, a kunoichi from a civilian clan, rising to the position of Kage at the mere age of seventeen. It was atypical, and unheard of except in one case.

Stepping out of the shower, and turning off the now lukewarm water, Sakura proceeded to dress once more. Her thoughts were filled with the usual things, and of course, it made her seem weak and a poor shinobi. However, she was also trying to consider the different possibilities for all that was seeming to happen in this world. She knew well from the battles that this peace would not last long. Pein was correct on that. Once having suffered from pain, the world will mend their wounds together in a temporary peace. Then, after a while, their greedy nature sets in, and a war will start. Maybe for something small, maybe something big. More loss would ensue, thus causing an endless cycle of hatred. Even as all the nations faced the same pain, they would eventually become too paranoid with tension, and indirectly start another unnecessary and meaningless battle. It was the cycle, not even Uzumaki Naruto - a legend - could end.

With her shower having been taken, Sakura glanced out the still brightly lit sky. It wasn't even evening yet. Though Sakura didn't mind, others might if she was not in her office. With a muted sigh, she walked to her office. There wasn't much to do, as the leader of the village. Despite everyone's - _Naruto's _- views of the greatness of being Hokage, it was mostly a desk job. Well, for her it was. She went on missions, occasionally. Those were S-rank, and as it was, far and few between. It wasn't such a bad thing, if not for the fact that this place was like a tomb. She loved her village, her home, but now, she rather wished she were one of the ones dead. It would be much simpler. For herself, at least, she thought looking down at genin children practicing with each other. Though she had nobody that was as precious as her old team and family to protect, she had her village. Her promise; the one she made to herself to protect this village, as if it were Naruto doing it.

Konohamaru returned later, when she was almost ready to retire for the evening. He stopped, a little wide-eyed at running into her, literally.

"Hokage-sama," Konohamaru greeted, and apologized in the same two words.

Sakura smiled briefly, "We're alone. You don't have to use formalities." A childish laugh was heard, before Konohamaru gave a mischievous grin, "Whatever you say, Sakura baa-chan." A vein popped out on Sakura's forehead, and she glared before knocking him over the head. Konohamaru grimaced in pain. Some things hadn't changed, just as well as just things haven't been lost. Like mentor, like teacher. Sakura could say that for the both of them.

"What do you need, Konohamaru?" Sakura asked, getting over their inside moment, understood only between the two of them.

"I just returned from the mission you originally commissioned for Shikamaru-san," he said with utter seriousness, leaving Sakura agape. The boy really was becoming what she would call a prodigy. He was only fifteen. Sakura smiled, slightly. He was the most dedicated Chunnin she had seen in a long time.

"That's excellent. Was it a success?" he nodded. Konohamaru then looked away and back at Sakura, "Do you miss them, Sakura-san?"

"All the time," she amended looking towards the darkened sky. "It must be hard being the Hokage after something like that. I always thought becoming Hokage was the best thing a person could be, but now, I'm not so sure. Naruto-nii…" he trailed off, a little teary.

"Konohamaru," Sakura called out softly, and once capturing his attention, spoke again, "get some rest. You need it. I'm giving you a week off." She placed a hand on his back. He looked like he was about to protest, but the look in Sakura's eyes held him back. _She missed Naruto as much, if not more than he_, Konohamaru though slightly drowsy. With a nod, Konohamaru was out of sight. _Good_, Sakura thought. The kid needed to let his mind off things before he suffered from a traumatic stress disorder. Or something.

Sakura sighed. She shouldn't have injected that barbiturate into Konohamaru, but there was no other way. The kid _needed _rest. Though if it were anyone else, people might think something of it. Luckily, barbiturates didn't have any negative effects on shinobi, other than to make them drowsy. With a small bit of guilt, she walked back down the hallway to her corridors. She need sleep, or else she wouldn't be able to function for these upcoming meetings. The kages did this regularly, though it irked quite a few of them to have to do this. Although necessary, it was not a regular routine Sakura enjoyed.

It was all for the sake of keeping peace. Sometimes, Sakura really wished another shinobi had been made Hokage, though she knew for the sake of her knowledge and relations with what would have been the next, and greatest Hokage of Konoha, it was given to her graciously. It was hardly something she could refuse. At least not without getting hell for it. Not that it made much difference now, but all the same Sakura would sulk over this at any chance possible. She was nineteen. How should she know all the answers when she barely knew how to live her own life? With a sigh, she unlocked the door to her apartment.

_A bath_. That sounded perfect. Nice, warm water to soak away the stress. Letting herself close her eyes, Sakura walked into the vacant apartment, and headed straight for the bathroom, once more. It was no surprise; her affinity _was _water, after all. After relieving her very sore muscles once more, she changed into evening wear. Now would be a great time to catch up on sleep that she so desperately required. It was only when she was washing her face that she got a shock for her life. Her first thought was that she still had water in her eyes, or something. After all, there was no way she could be staring in the mirror to a pair of Sharingan, could there?

But there they were, the ruby narrowed eyes of an Uchiha that Sakura hadn't thought she'd ever see outside a scroll again in her life, staring straight back at her with a look more confused than her own. Once the face adjacent the eyes became unmistakable, it was then Sakura determined now was the time to shriek.

_::owari:: _

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**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. For those who have read my other ItaSaku, I'll try to have the next chapter out soon as well. I'd be happy to clear up any questions people may have, as well as constructive criticism on anything I may need to work on. Please review, and I'll try to have the next chapter out as soon as I possibly can.


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